I have a fanfiction 'fangirl.' She loves all my stories (almost) and pimps me out for contests and the like. Her penname is Hyvanna. She sent me a hand written review for Cargon that I thought I'd share. note: I've correct some misspelling/grammar
Jeez, I haven't wrote a letter since I was in school. I fill out paperwork all the time but don't sit down and write-write.
Got your Asprin and eyedrops ready? Good, use them now.
I really enjoyed reading Cargon. I like that it was set in the distant future, so far ahead that after whatever disaster happened even wordsk for things were lost and it was like Renaissance times. So it felt like a true treat to my inner geek, nerd, whatever we that love Sci-fi and Dungeons and Dragons are called.
To name the main characters Adam and Eve and say Eve will change the world, that was a neat little tidbit. It will be Eve eating from the tree of knowledge first this time, kicking them into the unknown, ready to be reshaped. I love it.
Best part was Louis was trying to get to Eve so he could use her for her mind. That felt like a stealthy twist on how women hate that a man never wants her for her mind, only her body.
In a morbid way, I liked Louis' advancement on Eve, mainly because I love the triangle.
So many tidbits I enjoyed, from his mom knowing and seeing more in Eve to torturing Adam, or well, embarrassing him. Her schooling and testing was fun.
Okay, now I will admit I thought the challenge between Jasper and Louis was a setup. I thought he planned it so Jasper would lose on purpose and Louis would not want to play someone under his station unless he had to.
I did like Jasper, though I feared he would fall in love with Eve, not meaning to, and get his heart hurt again. It almost felt as though he were playing for a different reason, like he planned on getting the other woman he loves back but used this challenge as another, so to say, practice run, knowing Adam would challenge him to win Eve back.
TWO THUMS -N- BIG TOES UP!!! hehe, she put that in a lot of her fanfiction reviews, too. It's neat to see it all written out!
I am looking forward to the sequel in hopes of seeing her take on the things left from the past, like the skeleton buildings that grow tall and anything she see in her new life she's riding off into.
I like post-apocalyptic stuff like:
Fallout --- very good game!!!
The Book of Eli --- very good movie!!!
Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome
Hopefully you could read a least a little of this letter. pshaw, it wasn't THAT bad!! Oh and I do like your idea about the ghost. I hope you can pitch that idea to a publisher, too.
Have fun -n- Keep writing!!!
You are a very good storyteller!!!
Lots of Luck
So, yeah, that was her review (with only a few insertions from me). Big hugs to Hyvanna.