How is your weekend? I'm spending mine with the Weekend Writing Warriors, contributing 8-10 sentences from one of my publications (others include works in progress). I'm continuing Never Say Die. Cassy is planning to eliminate the doctor that created the virus that destroyed her world. He finds him, and his son.
Why didn’t I consider he might have a family? Why did I assume he was alone? I’m so wrapped up in consideration for those bystanders that I almost miss him pulling into his driveway. He isn’t wearing the lab coat that he has on in every picture I’ve seen, but I recognize his slicked back brown hair and plastic rimmed glasses.
“Peter Evans,” I murmur, before restarting the engine and pulling away.
I find a nearby convenience store and pick up a pair of scissors. This hair will only get tangled as I try to sneak into the house. It would be nice to have some other clothes, but most of the actual shops have already closed for the night. Instead, I dig around the back of the van in Dad’s bag and find one of his shirts — dark green. It’ll do, better than my white skin.
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She's still determined, even with that new knowledge. Though, I wonder if she will go through with it. Nice snippet!ReplyDelete
I'm really curious as to how this is going to play out. I see the scene ending one of two/three ways. Great snippet.ReplyDelete
She's really got the plan down, every detail taken care of. But I still wonder if she will go through with it? Great snippet!ReplyDelete
Love the tease of conscience that's going to come back to haunt her now that she's seeing him as other than a target.ReplyDelete
Looks like this will be harder than she thought!ReplyDelete
Hmmm, revenge is rarely as straightforward as we think at first. Nice complication.ReplyDelete
Nothing like an after thought to mess with her plans.ReplyDelete
Her humanity is going to get in her way. Can't wait to see what actually happens.ReplyDelete
I like all the practical details you include, feels very realistic and helps ground the story, which I am enjoying!!! Excellent excerpt.ReplyDelete
I agree with Veronica, my good pal. This is lovely.ReplyDelete
This is a good example of microtension -- adding little problems that need to be solved along the way to solving the big problem.ReplyDelete
I like the little details in this - and her concern that he has a family. I have a feeling things aren't going to pan out as she intends though.ReplyDelete
Uh oh. She's starting to see him as something more than the monster who started the craziness. I wonder how that will affect her mission.ReplyDelete